Many brides and grooms still cling to outdated notions, thinking that these still apply. Found below are three wedding rules that are definitely outdated, but some people still follow. If you are about to get married, do yourself a favour and break them!
Plan your wedding with your parents’ desires in mind
Many brides-to-be and grooms-to-be find themselves in a bind when planning their wedding because they are compelled to create their special day based on the desire of others, especially those of their parents (the mother of the bride has been known to have a demand or some). Instead of planning a wedding the way they want to, couples end up designing one that accommodates the requests of their elders. They are forced to invite people they don’t know, choose a venue or vendor they don’t like, go with a theme they wouldn’t have chosen for themselves, and tolerate some things they wouldn’t have put up with. This was understandable in the past, when parents usually paid for weddings. But in this day and age, when most couples are paying for their own nuptials, they shouldn’t aim to please their parents.
If you are about to get married, know that there is nothing wrong with designing the wedding you have in mind, especially if you and your future spouse will be paying for your wedding. You may consider other people’s feedback, but you shouldn’t agree to everything they say. Remember that it is you and your partner’s wedding, and not anybody else’s. Don’t be scared to hold your ground when push comes to shove.
If the parents are insisting on several things because they will be chipping in (or at least they want to), you need to find time to sit down with them and talk about your concerns and non-negotiables. You and your partner should settle everything during that conversation to prevent any misunderstanding. If you can’t tell your parents «No» or if it seems they wouldn’t back down, consider planning an intimate ceremony with the people you want to share the moment with; afterwards, just hold a reception where your folks’ VIPs are invited.
Spend most of your wedding taking pictures and greeting guests
Posing for pictures is an important part of the wedding, and so is mingling with guests. However, the bride and groom need not spend so much time doing these that they barely have time to enjoy the moment and have a bite (or two). The couple should be able to celebrate the day with their guests, and not be obligated to take on hosting duties.
Nonetheless, this doesn’t mean that you and your future spouse should be caught up in your own little bubble the entire time. It just means both of you need to manage your time better. For instance, thank guests for coming to your wedding in between courses during the reception—this way, you can still enjoy the food you have chosen. If you invited a lot of people and it is unlikely for you and your partner to greet everybody, visit guests from your side while you let your partner visit those from his/hers. You cut the time in half and everybody gets a greeting.
Another option worth considering is taking photos prior to the ceremony so you can devote more time mingling with guests during the cocktail party. Yes, you will be forced to see your partner before the walk down the aisle, but don’t look at it as a bad thing; take it as the opportunity to spend a moment with him/her before things get crazy.
Settle for conventional wedding décor
There is nothing wrong with taking inspiration from weddings of the past, but don’t be limited by these. Just because most receptions make use of flowers as centrepieces doesn’t mean you have to use these for yours. Tiffany chairs may be a fixture in weddings, but these aren’t your only seating options. Remember this: you are free to create a wedding that is unique and truly represents both of you as a couple. Even if the ideas you have for the big day seem unusual, don’t worry—the more unique they are, the better. In a time when people are outdoing themselves creatively, you are encouraged to stand out.
When choosing a colour scheme, forgo the common and pale hues for those which are bolder and brighter. Weddings shouldn’t be limited to white, beige and pale pastels; hot pink, tangerine and chocolate brown can also be considered. Not fond of flowers? Don’t bother with the floral arrangements. Choose centrepieces that don’t involve flora: candles, candies, cake or other pastries, fruits, or champagne glasses with metallic baubles.